Welcome to DivorcingMyself

This new website is under construction, please check back frequently as we add content

The intended audience for this site is the Christian husband who is going through or has gone through divorce.

Traditionally, there are two scriptures that are taught as key characteristics of the union that occurs after marriage. In Genesis 2:24, we read that

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (NIV)

Our Lord restated this concept in Matthew 19:4-6, with the additional prohibition

Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."" (NIV)

When the Christian husband has divorced his wife, there can be the very real sense that he has participated in the tearing of his very own body into pieces. During the process of divorce, pain is experienced and when it is completed, scars form, just as if an actual portion of his skin were ripped away and his body replaced the missing flesh. Sometimes, this is necessary to maintain the man's overall spiritual and mental health, just as surgery is needed to remove tissue that is poisoning the physical body.

Unfortunately, the average congregation does not provide a great deal of support to the husband in this process. Most contemporary American Christian divorce support groups are focused on women's issue in divorce, and this is understandable from a past cultural context. In the past, when a woman was divorced (both in Biblical times and up until the last 20 years here in the U.S.), she was at an extreme disadvantage emotionally, spiritually, and economically. The Church stepped in to meet these needs (though some may accurately say not consistently or adequately). Today's reality (because of family law reforms) is much different in many states. There can be a bias towards women in the courts. Though women's incomes have risen and more women practice full-time occupations, the legal system has been slow to recognize cultural changes. This is often true in the Church as well.

This site is the result of the personal experiences of a Christian man and it is hoped that it will become a source of information, encouragement, and healing specificially for the male Believer going through and dealing with the aftermath of divorce. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A VEHICLE FOR MAKING LIGHT OF A SERIOUS AND PAINFUL PROCESS, OR TO DENIGRATE CHRISTIAN WOMEN.